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| Annie Spratt on Unsplash |
I won a donut on Tim Horton's Roll Up the Rim promotion. Moments after the win, I had decided that I would give that donut to one of my daughters as a treat. Name, day, time, ready in my mind.
Fast forward to minutes before the surprise donut date with my daughter. I was met with yelling about how she hates to dance and did not want to go to her class that evening...or ever again. I managed to convince my daughter that dancing might help her feel better that evening. Once we were moving in the car, I explained how I had planned a surprise but her behaviour was making me consider holding the surprise back.
My daughter shyly replied, "I know I shouldn't change my behaviour to get something but because it is the right thing to do."
In these moments of parenting, I want to pull back and "teach a lesson" by not rewarding undesired behaviour. I have the following words posted on my fridge: "Sometimes it is not about reward or consequences. It is about love, family and relationship." The quote was a mantra I made up. At one point in time, I had nothing left to take away and removing everything did not change my children's behaviour.
As I pulled up to the drive-thru, I said to my child, "Sometimes it's about love, and while you might not deserve it, I am keeping the surprise as part of your night because I love you."
While my daughter cradled her donut in delight, she opened up about what was making her "have a bad day" and want to quit dance. It had nothing to do with dance. I was glad I made that moment about love rather than consequences.
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My faith can be reduced to a donut. A moment made to be about love rather than consequences. As Easter approaches, I am thankful for a Father who loves me rather than keeps a list of my failings. I am thankful for a Son, Jesus, who took the pain of my sin on Himself when He died on the cross. I am thankful for the miracle of resurrection which seals my forgiveness and hope in heaven. When I wake each morning, I want to live better because of this love, not in order to earn it.
The sweetness of faith is that of an undeserved donut covered in icing and sprinkles.
And since it is through God’s kindness, then it is not by their good works. For in that case, God’s grace would not be what it really is—free and undeserved. -Romans 11:6, NLT
