A Character in my own Bible Story

I was watching a crime drama episode. The story involved a defendant who was taking a plea deal for second degree murder. During the court appointment for the plea, the victim's mother interrupted with cries for restorative justice instead of prosecution. The prosecution was not open to the idea, fearing lack of punishment for the crime. The defence was not open to the idea fearing stronger prosecution after the process. The mother persisted, the judge relented and a restorative meeting would happen.

At risk of simplifying the process, restorative justice is one where victims have an opportunity to face the offender. The focus is not punishment, but healing for the victim and the offender. The focus is on making things right to restore hurt. In this story, I watched the victim forgive her son's killer, who ended up confessing that while the shot was accidental, his death was intentional. The killer had consciously let the son bleed out. The mother's grace remained. She did not want another life ruined by a mistake, despite learning new details from the offender.

In the next court appointment, the prosecution took advantage of the confession and pressed for murder in the first degree, life in prison with no parole. The offender took that deal. The mother was heartbroken, as though she lost a second son. I was touched at her capacity to forgive. I was reminded of our Father's Mercy toward us.

***

I was meeting my mom for lunch at a local food complex after church. She had taken my older two daughters, Rylyn and Addisyn, 6 and 5 at the time for an overnight Grandma date. I was meeting her with my youngest Josette, who was just shy of 2. Josette was asleep in the car. My mom has always been skilled at backing up into parking spaces. In effort to make pulling my big, soccer-mom-like van out of the spaces easier, I had been doing a lot of backing in to spaces. This day, I did not. The lot was busy and I eased into the space frontwards.

As I eased into the space, at one point, I questioned whether I had enough room. Confident after all my backing in, I proceeded slowly. There didn't seem to be an issue, until I stepped out of the vehicle. It was tight, uncomfortable to get out, but manageable. I had to watch the door so it didn't hit the vehicle beside mine, when I was startled to see a man standing behind my van. I knew that my front bumper must have hit the rear bumper of his SUV when I pulled in.

Apologizing (and I am sure slightly frantic) I said I was sorry, I thought I had enough room. The family probably had watched the whole thing in slow motion and disbelief at my poor visual-spatial skills. The man looked Italian and even Mafia-like with his adult siblings and parents surrounding him. I waited for the swearing. Instead, the man disappeared around side of his vehicle while I rubbed the silver paint from my vehicle off of his black rear bumper to see the damage: one stripe less than a half a millimetre in girth and about the size of my hand.

The man returned with a buffing cloth and rubbed the area some more and looked at me, "It's okay." I stared at him in disbelief and asked for reassurance. He gave me a hug. I hit this man's SUV both sportier and newer than my van, and he gave me a hug. I asked if he was going to fix it, could I give him my information? He said he has been through this before and it is not worth it. I hugged this man at least 3 times in my stupor and surprise to his response. I thanked him and told him, "God bless you."

I hadn't even looked at the scrape on my bumper, yet, thicker and longer than the one on the SUV. I thanked God that it was that vehicle I hit that day. I retreated to my driver's seat with tears in my eyes and waved, thankfully, as he pulled out.

I could not repay his kindness. Suddenly, I found myself with tears in my eyes, a character in my own Bible story. I hadn't even asked the man his name. I didn't need to know his name. Grace like that is extended by one and only. Whether he was a believer in Jesus or not, I may never know, but I know Jesus extended me grace that day. It was a tangible taste of the grace He offers us, everyday. A reminder that forgiveness is a gift.

***

Revelation 3:19-20New King James Version (NKJV)

19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. 20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.

Unlike the man who forgave my parking blunder, Jesus' relationship with me does not end with forgiveness. Like the mother in the courtroom, He wants to know me, dine with me. Jesus, unlike the mother, does not need healing, but He offers healing at a table of Grace. If only, we listen, yield and open the door.

Things My Kids Say...Summer Memories 2017

Mom to Addy (5 years old) who is eating a cupcake - You don't have to finish that. I know you don't have a sweet tooth like your sister.

Addy - But if I keep losing teeth one might grow in.
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Swim Teacher - What is your favourite colour?
Rylyn (6 years old) - Chocolate.

Fair enough.
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After coaxing the 2 year-old, Josette, to put down her bag of chips (and subsequently hiding them) so that she would open gifts at her birthday party.

Opens one present. Uninterestingly checks out gift to appease everyone.
"Where my chips?!?!"
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While reading the end of Snow White (from an abbreviated early reader version)..."The dwarves put Snow in a glass case. Then a prince sees her. The prince kisses Snow. Snow wakes up!"
Rylyn (6 years old) - "Why didn't the dwarves think of that?!"

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Mom reading in bed with the 5 and 6 year olds at bedtime - Okay, who farted? Looks at Rylyn, the usual culprit.
Rylyn - Not me.
Addy - It was me. Giggles.
Rylyn - But it sure smells like me!

Backyard play with cousins Lucy and Jadwen

Lion Safari: Addisyn with cousin Griffin

Lion Safari: Josie and why Chris is not in many pictures

Canada Day (150th) at Kingsview Church
Photo credit family of Dorothy Lo (pictured)

Swimming with cousin Zoë
Photo credit Laura Whitley

Toronto Zoo with second cousins, Photo credit Malerie Rollins

There was a line up to push Josie, Photo credit Malerie Rollins

Addy and cousin Marcus at Zoo, Photo credit Malerie Rollins

Happy 2nd Birthday Josette

Cousins: Greta and Josie

T.H.E. C.H.I.P.S.

Flying Squirrel with cousin Griffin

At the park

Cottaging with friends, the only picture I took of our actual week of vacation!
The kids are showing off their candy from the tuck shop. 

Pickling with mom, photo bomb by Rylyn,
Photo credit Addisyn Dalgleish (5 years old)

10 years and counting

I'm sure you expected a card. After decades of scrapbooking, I am happy to give our marriage an honour which takes up less space. Besides, the best things in life, cannot be bought. While this year marks 10 years of marriage, next year will mark 20 years of togetherness.

An awkward teenage photo

High school sweethearts

Prom, 2001

Kara's graduation from Brock University, 2005

2007 - After nine years of dating, including a year and a half engagement, we buy our first home in Smithville, ON and are married on August 4, 2007 by Pastor Henry of Cornerstone Church at Kingsview Community Church. We travel to Colorado Springs for our honeymoon and go spelunking, hiking, horseback riding and ride a cog train to the summit of Pike's Peak. We stayed in a renovated caboose!

I teach grade 7/8 at Bellmoore and you finish working in HVAC and home renovations with a family friend and begin working as an auto mechanic apprentice for Shawn's Auto. Our Friday nights are spent running youth ministry at Cornerstone Church.

Photo credits Cole Garside

2008 - Facebook history (yes, I actually needed to scroll back and look) indicates I am bored, watch Grey's Anatomy and reality-TV, including American Idol. I spend more time than needed cleaning. We work, argue about petty things, make-up, garden and take care of our cats, Quincy and Charlie. By the leading of Holy Spirit, we find ourselves serving and making friends at a new church, Tree of Life.

Quincy

2009 - You study auto mechanics at Mohawk College, apprenticing under cars by day at Shawn's Auto and serving at Tree of Life by night. I do a lot of marking! We drive in the black, 1966 VW, "hood ride" beetle you got running! Facebook indicates on September 9, 2009 "For once, [my husband] talked more than me." We go on movie dates. In December, I get in a car accident after hitting black ice, but am unharmed outside of some whiplash.

2010 - We travel to British Columbia and Washington state. We welcome our first daughter, Rylyn, two days before Christmas. After a couple of years forging our independence as a married couple, we recognize the importance of our own families for support moving forward.

Rylyn, photo credit Jeremy James Photography

2011 - We have a memorable family trip to Sauble Beach with both sides of the family! Surprise, we are having another baby...hi ho, hi ho it's back to work I go. You take paternal leave.

Grandpa Dan with Rylyn

2012 - We welcome our second daughter, Addisyn, in March. Rylyn becomes ill: failure to thrive. My days are filled with doctor's appointments with a newborn and a sick toddler. I pray myself to sleep many nights. Mid-year Rylyn is diagnosed with Celiac Disease and we learn how to prepare her food gluten free. A cloud has been lifted. Praise God.

Addisyn

Addisyn's other surprise, home birth!

2013 - You give your children an amazing gift. You become a stay-at-home-dad for two years and are able to devote more time to pursuing your dream of pastoring with a 1 year-old in one hand and a 2 year-old in the other. After helping Tree of Life through a pastoral transition, we feel released to move and we keep coming back to Kingsview Community Church. I continue my dream of sowing into the lives of children, including my own, and teach. I try my hand at Grade 6. We visit Sesame Place in Pennsylvania.

With Grandmas at the Santa Claus Parade

2014 - We move into our current home. A home with your heritage and soon to be mine. We are blessed with the purchase of your maternal grandparents' home, which has been out of the family for about a decade. Rylyn starts school. More space? Why not another baby?

Saying good bye to Swayze Court

Our current home, picture 2017

2015 - We welcome our THIRD daughter, Josette in July. You are hired as youth pastor at Kingsview Community Church. After years of dreaming, apprenticing, volunteering and people doubting, you held to the plan you believe God has for you.

Josette

2016 - I return to teaching part-time, something I have been longing to try out since having children. Addy starts school. Grandparents help us with Josette two mornings a week.

2017 - Happy 10th Anniversary! There is so much more I could write about the past ten years. We have added brothers and sisters through marriage, nieces and nephews and said a few goodbyes too. As for a fourth for our own family? Three strikes you're out! Our faith, family, friends (new and old!), youth ministry, teaching at Bellmoore and Grey's Anatomy have all been consistent in our decade-long journey. Having each other, our children, both our parents, and our siblings, with their families, present and healthy, are blessings we count.

Laura and Jamie's wedding, photo credit Cesare Berti

A whole lot of "Dalgleish" cousins

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

God says this to the Isrealites during a time of captivity. This is the promise He provides in advance of 70 years of captivity in Babylon. It was also a scripture at our wedding. Chris, if I am a captive in this life, I am glad it is with you. It is my prayer we can trust in the light of Christ when all seems dark and remember our future and hope is in Him. I love you. Happy 10th Anniversary. I pray for many more years with you.

Our most recent selfie

Dime and Dad Renos

We are approaching three years in our country home. The home we moved to that made me think: What have we done?! The home we moved to where I cried myself to sleep for a week because I could smell nothing but poop. Thank you previous owner for leaving us that trash can of dog leftovers we eventually found in the basement. Once we disposed of that, my tears were disposed of too. Mostly.

I believe when I viewed the home, I viewed the potential. I felt the heritage too as it was built by Chris' maternal grandfather. It took a while before I saw the potential again. For a long time, all I saw was the work. After Chris redid the rundown chicken coop into a shed, I vowed to take pictures of future projects to show the potential I saw and progress toward it.

I never had a vision for the gazebo. I was fine with the way it was. Looking back...what an eye sore. My dad had the necessary vision and the skills to return it to glory. He worked hard summer of 2016 and look how it turned out. Outside of us purchasing the screen door for $150, my dad also took care of the supplies. He is quite resourceful, the panels are made from cedar fence boards. Thank you Dad!!! We will enjoy it this summer.

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My dad working hard

The next project was our back door area, 2016/2017. We spent about $300 on the new door and other materials. I bought the stick and peel vinyl through an online buy and sell for $20. The paint we used was a mistint for $10. The new accessories were bought with a gift card to Canadian Tire. The picture was bought at Giant Tiger on sale for $10. Because it was an amazing price for Group of Seven, I bought a second one for for the fall/winter of a snowy farmhouse. Add in some ceiling paint for $30 and my Father-in-Law's expertise in door installation, and voilà. Thank you Chris and Dad for your labour! A much cleaner look and goodbye dirty ant-infested carpet! Total cost = $380

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Josette with her windows and doors Papa

We hope to do some more renovations this summer, so stayed tune. Not all of them will be on a dime, but we have been patiently saving. Some of the work we have wanted to get done since we moved in and it is finally time!