Friday, August 17, 2012

Small Talk: World's Experts on Kids and Life

Have you ever felt like a well-meaning, total stranger was the "expert" on your child or life? I know I have! Although often annoying in the present, also often funny in hindsight. Enjoy these anecdotes from my day-to-day life.

Scene: Dollarama
Cashier - Looking at 2 month-old  Addisyn in her stroller. Your baby's one eye is tearing up. Has she been crying?
Me - No. It is just her tear duct. It is still developing.
Cashier - My son had to have surgery for that. You may need drops soon. Don't worry, I think they put them out now for the surgery.
Me - Smiles. My first daughter had the same problem. It worked itself out, hopefully that will happen a second time. Inside thought - Really? I'll keep that in mind Dr. Dollarama. Thanks for turning a molehill into a mountain.
Tip: breastmilk works wonders for clearing up tear-duct runny eyes.

Scene: Multiple locations, ON, Canada
"Child Expert" - Wow, your girls are big for their age. (Keep in mind these are strangers who have seen no progression in growth).
Me -  Inside thought - Really?  Which one takes the cake? The 19 month-old who is in the 3rd percentile for her weight or the 5 month-old who is in the 10th percentile for hers.
Me - Outside thought - Yep. They"re lil' porkers.
Moral: unless you know someone well, don't comment on size and even then exercise caution. I think of the countless teenage boys I teach praying to hit puberty next to their 6 ft peers.

Scene: Giant Tiger Parking Lot
Hick in Pick-Up - Trying to maneuver his truck around the shopping cart where Addy (in her carseat) sits in order to get a space close to the door.
Me - Loading Rylyn into her car seat. Cart is flushed to my car nearby. Stop. Look horrified. Grab cart.
Hick in Pick-Up - Leans out window bearing a grin missing several teeth.  Don't worry. I can drive around it.
Me - It would be inappropriate to type what I was thinking.
Tip: Park near cart carrels to make shopping trips easier...but choose carrels further from the door in case of hicks in pick-ups.

Bible Reflections: 

Proverbs 8:13-15 (NCV)

 13 If you respect the Lord, you will also hate evil.
       I hate pride and bragging,
       evil ways and lies.
 14 I have good sense and advice,
       and I have understanding and power.
 15 I help kings to govern
       and rulers to make fair laws.
~The stories above I tell in good humour, not out of spite. When it comes to advice I first look to see what the Bible has to say and trust in God for wisdom. I also try to remember that if I sift through the sand of advice I may be surprised to find a pearl. I would love to hear any funny stories the rest of you have on the "experts" in your world.