Church without Walls

This week my middle daughter began dance classes. Prior to this, the only "extra-curricular" my children have known have been swimming lessons and church. And, we had to be intentional to make time for swimming lessons.

Church has provided a loving culture for our children to learn about our faith, as well as explore their own giftings. One of our children will hard pass on the performance arts, while another child will now explore that in more depth. Thank you Christmas Musicals.

As I continue to write, hear that I value the church and its role, however, we must be careful not to allow church to limit Jesus, speaking both physically and metaphysically. I am unlikely to step into a bar. Some of my friends are unlikely to step into a church. People are not projects to fix or rescue. Barriers to differences must be overcome to build relationships. If the end goal is to get someone to attend church every Sunday, my friends, we have it wrong.

After months of not formally being connected to a specific church (in part due to COVID-19 and in part due to being between churches as a pastoring family), our family is reconnecting with a mission. Where is our relationship with the church headed...short-term? Long term?

Where does God want me to be? He wants me to be wherever I can build a relationship and love like He does. To teach in a public school. To cottage with family and friends. To take "the middle" to build her passion for dance. I am being challenged to reduce my involvement in church as an extra-curricular with events for each night of the week. Instead, I am making a commitment to represent my faith every day and to celebrate that faith with others who share it. This might not always happen in a church building or on a Sunday.

Wall-less.

Moving.

Evolving.

There is nothing wrong with meeting in a church building on Sunday, but there is also nothing wrong with going to dance class on Tuesday instead of volunteering for a church extra-curricular. If I might challenge one step further...what about going to a dance class on a Sunday morning and church on a Tuesday night?

"Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things. Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both." Ecclesiastes 11:5-6

The Hallway

I trust a God who not only hears my prayers but also sees them. My prayers have evolved from willing the hand of God to move "my way" through spoken prayer to discovering an understanding of my present reality and His companionship in that reality with more listening.

A kind soul gave us a piece of art she had made with the name "El Roi" stitched in Braille as a Christmas gift. It means "the God Who Sees" in Hebrew. It sits as a prayer on our wall. A reminder that God sees us.

The name El Roi comes from the Old Testament in the Bible. Simplified, Hagar was a slave made pregnant by her master, Abram, because his wife could not bear a child. She was mistreated and ran away. The Bible doesn't say Hagar fell on her knees in prayer. It says the angel of the Lord found her in the wilderness and spoke to her.

"Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?” Genesis 16:13

This is the only time this name for God is used in the Bible. It appears again, once, in a different form, in Greek in the New Testament, after Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and entered Jerusalem riding a donkey.

"Jesus shouted to the crowds, “If you trust me, you are trusting not only me, but also God who sent me. For when you see me, you are seeing the one who sent me. I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the dark." John 12:44-46

Because I trust in Jesus, the Father sees me.

***

I have felt unseen. I want to be better at loving the unseen. The unspoken. In order to love the unspoken, one must first see them to know there is an unheard voice.

I remember attending a conference with my husband. The conference was promoted as a family-friendly event. I quickly realized that the event catered only to my husband's spiritual health and not his family's. The people I knew also attending, had other people. I had a baby. I spent most of the time alone in the hallway.

I wish I could say this was an isolated incident, but I have spent more time than I would like to admit alone in the hallway (often with babies) in churches. For a while, it bothered me. At some point, unseen people joined me. Others were alone in the hallway with me. I started talking to people. Praying with people. It dawned on me that while some of us were missing the sermon, church was still authentically happening.

The problem with catering to the majority is that people will be left out. I am not saying churches shouldn't make decisions based on the majority. I am saying churches could also make decisions with the unseen in mind, especially in the COVID season moving forward.

Saying, "Too bad for them," isn't loving. Assuming we know what others need isn't loving either. Asking what might they need and how we could help is loving.

My family is not attending church service, despite some churches opening-up. Truth: I don't want to be around large groups of people right now, especially indoors. More truth: I don't want to have to make children behave in church. Still more truth: children worship God differently than adults. After we finished the first Harry Potter book (gasp), the very first thing my children did was connect how the book related to their faith.

My husband is in a season of moving to a new pastoring role. That role is still shaping itself (for those who don't work in the church world, think self-employment and starting a business). As a result, I feel like I am back in that hallway again, but this time, I know I am not alone. We have had a few churches adopt us in this season. One church added us back on their mailing list. I didn't ask them to. Another included my children in their online children's ministry even though we had only visited once. A third dropped off a care package for my children with chips, snacks and sunglasses. The kids happily munched during our Friday family movie night, with sunglasses on, knowing they were loved by those people. Each of these was an act of love, seeing the unseen.

Churches, keep being creative and loving others. You don't need to save people, Jesus does that. Everybody needs to feel loved. If you are feeling unseen, join me in the hallway, I'll be here a while.

The Hollyhock

A year ago I was scrolling Facebook feeling guilty. Laden with recurring migraines, headaches, anxiety and depression (at the time unknowingly) I had very little energy. The energy I did have went to my children and getting through the day.

The box garden bed my husband had made me sat empty that year. The year it was built the bed was lush with cherry tomatoes and green peppers. Because it is better if you grow your own food, right? Because heaven forbid you rely on a grocery store or worse, feed your family a box of chicken nuggets! At least if you throw in some homegrown food with your chicken nuggets you might get an honorable mention at the non-existent parenting award show.

The summer of emptiness, I planted hope. I scattered some seeds with a prayer. A gesture of guilt from not being able to plant vegetables and be what social media feigns as a good summer mom. I have wanted hollyhock for as long as I can remember. This summer those seeds bloomed. They stand tall and proud. Strong and healthy. Like me.

Whatever you are sowing this season, may it reap joy. May effort not rob you of the beauty of simplicity. And, finally, may your definition of joy come from within and not a scroll.

It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work. For we are both God’s workers. And you are God’s field. You are God’s building. 
-1 Corinthians 3:7-9 NLT