Church

What if prayers were conversations with loved ones that God was present for?

What if children's ministry was taking my own children tobogganing on a sunny snow covered Sunday?

What if community involvement was becoming a "volleyball mom?"

What if charity was opening up my home and allowing people to disarm over coffee or a meal?

What if the kitchen sink was my alter, my iPhone my worship band and the tears I shed there my offering?

***

What if the paycheck is nothing but the deposits we collect cannot be measured?

Is that faith?

How do you live in today's world with interest on the rise and be generous?

What if not doing church brings you the peace and stillness of God?

Can church ever be low-anxiety for a pastor's wife?

***

What if we exchanged church oppression for freedom in Jesus?

What if God was more sovereign than we give Him credit for...

and we substituted our lists of needs and wants for love?

What if that prayer for love involved unfair pain and suffering here on Earth?

What if...?

Spaces

The clutter in my space

Means clutter in my mind

I can't think straight

Until I find a path through

Dishwasher needs emptying

Kitchen sink overflowing

More cups on bedroom dressers

Than in the cupboard

Eight laundry bins brimming

Clothes waiting to be washed and worn

Those draped over the floor

A marsh to wade through

Endless cycles of

Wash, rinse, repeat

Spaces that collect 

But never seem to empty

Scattered Legos

Rolling beads

Forgotten glue guns

Oozing glue on the floor

Children who need

A space to play

Rules of tradition

Attempted and failed

Pick up when you are finished

They are never done

Time to clean up

Battles and whining prevail

The clutter in my space

Means clutter in my mind

I can't think straight

Until I find a path through

Empty desktop at work

Clear space and clear mind

Some think spread out

But not me.

Good Child

Can the good child come over?

Can she play? 

Can the good child help?

Everybody loves her.

No one wants me. 

She gets straight As.

She makes sports teams. 

Runs, jumps, leaps high. 

Everybody loves her. 

No one wants me. 

If they don't want me. 

I don't want them. 

 *** 

Can the good child come over?

Can she play?

Can the good child help?

I hope mom and dad say, "Yes."

They're too busy for me.

I must not make a mistake.

They have enough on their plates.

I need to run, run away.

Everybody loves her.

No one wants me.

If they don't want me.

I don't want them.

***

My dear children, you are both good.

Your worth is not measured

In the invitations or attention you receive.

Do not keep score.

Neither one of you more.

Mistakes will be made,

Parent and child alike.

One of you runs

The other skips to a beat.

It is not a race to be won.

You are wanted.

You are loved.

***

This poem catalogues some of the complex feelings we have been navigating as a family as one child gets invites and the unintentional hurt felt by the child that doesn't. It is not any one individual. Some children require more TLC and we have watched this develop over years. When the sum of the invites is considered, the result is unintentional exclusion. I don't have an answer, so I don't expect others to have one either. However, sometimes we must decline invites and just be a family, where everyone is accepted and feels wanted.